STORY BY: Blue Heeler SunFire
| Blue pads over and walks into his room, walking over and picking up the
daily mail. Napalm steps in behind and closes the door, placing his paw on it and mumbling
something. The dog looks up, "You say something, Nap?" "Huh?" the wolf looks back surprised. "Oh, just locking the door." "You sure, you don't sound like your normal self" "Well, I don't like the idea that I'm left out. I do have the ability to take the knowledge from someone's mind, but I dont use it unless I have a very good reason. Its just not nice. I know where you met him, and I know where he came from." "Left out of what?" "What I don't know is why he had to leave." "He was involved in something that I guess you can't do in Tarrai." Blue reads the mail. "There are lots of things you can't do in Tarrai, but only a handful you can be banished for." "Hmm, I only know of the one thing he did. What are all the things you can be banished for?" "Murder, if you are underaged. Rape, if you are underaged. A handful of others. Normally they kill you for such crimes, but Tarrai acknowledges that youths should not be subject to such strict laws. Thus most crimes that you can be killed for, if you are underaged you are banished for. He mentioned that another, a male in fact, was killed for what occured. Obviously they were doing this together, and he was of age, our friend Felinar was not. Even as secluded as we phoenix are we can put things together." The dog looks at Napalm. "What do you think happened?" "I refuse to openly accuse him of something I dont know he did." "I wouldn't accuse him of what he did at all. Is it a crime to love?" "You know, if I'm wrong tell me, if not I need to know. I said I trusted him because you did, but what I find out about his past may affect that trust. Please, don't run around the issue, tell me under no uncertian terms what he did. I do hope you trust me enough to know I wont do anything rash with such knowledge." "I do trust you, but he was caught with another male. They loved each other, though he was from a noble family, and sekai was from lesser birth I guess" Napalm nods solemnly. "Thank you." "I still want to know why it's wrong to love." "Then I do trust him, as much as I can." The Wolf smirks slightly. "I didn't say how I felt on the issue, I just said what he did would affect my trust in him. I can't very well trust a murderer or rapist can I?" "NO, he isn't one of those." "Exactly." "He is unsure about you, though." Blue goes back to reading the mail. "I personally find it absurd that so many mortals place such importance on the sexual practises of others, but as usual, I can't impose that belief on them any more than I'd have them impose theirs on me. He has every right to be unsure of me. If I didn't like what he had done, he wouldn't be alive now. But we phoenix are not so close minded as that, you should know that by now." "I know. And, yes, I don't know why that society condemed what they have." Napalm shrugs. "The day I begin understanding mortals is the day I turn in my tail feathers." "There are problems with any society that forces people to live other than the way their hearts dictate." Blue spits that statement out with some vehimance. Napalm flobs half-hazardly on his bed and turns on the T.V. "Well, you may want to go talk to him, without me. I think you'll have better luck. He may learn to trust me, but he won't just yet." Blue pads out and closes the door, as Napalm leans back and picks up the phone next to the bed. "Yes? Room service? I'd like 4 large chocolate shakes, 3 bowls of chocolate ice cream, and a box of chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and please hurry, I'm, eating lunch in about 45 minutes." *********** Blue pads out his room and over to the next door and knocks. Felinar glances up at the door and walks over to it and looks through the eyepiece. "Blue...? What is it?" "I just wanted to make sure everything is okay. Can I come in?" "...Yeah. One second." "Felinar tosses the vest he is holding onto the bed and unlatches the door. He steps back and opens it. Blue walks in. "That looks nice, I see that you got the clothing. Are you finding everything here okay?" Felinar glances down at his trousers, then looks up again at the canine and pulls his mane out of his eyes idly. "Yes, of course. I'm not used to luxury though." Blue points to a chair, "May, I?" "Of course." The dog sits down. The lion stretches sensuously and yawns, then sits down on the side of his bed. "Actually this inn has been in the family for years. I never knew it, but now it's mine." Felinar glances at the room. "I'm sure you pull in plenty of money to live on." "I don't need much money, actully I don't like the city" "Then we're alike in one aspect." "What about you, what have you been doing these past years; and I think we are more alike in other aspects." He says the last thought quietly. Felinar shrugs, ignoring the second statement although his sensitive hearing does pick it up. "I'm a mercenary. I've done lots of things." Blue leans back "Like what, I would like to find out more about you. I mean it's been years since..." He lets the thought trail off as he knows the pain it must cause you. Felinar says tersely, "Yes, it has." "I'm sorry, I dont' mean to remind you of that." "It's all right." "I still can't understand that custom of your native land." Felinar looks down. "It isn't a custom." "What is it then, when they don't allow you to love who you want to. I've never understood arranged marrages either." Felinar growls, "It's treason. I undermined the strength of the clan when I gave myself to Sekai..." "How could you? How could being with him undermine the clan?" "I was of noble blood! If the underclasses found out, there would have been a revolt." "I guess that's one part of your culture I'll never understand I guess. Depsite what you tried to teach me." Felinar stands up with an exhasperated sigh and walks to the window. Throwing it open, he looks up at the moon. The dog stands up and pads next to Felinar. Looking out. "I'm really sorry, I truely am." Blue puts his arm comforting over the lions shoulder. Felinar turns his head slightly and looks down at the smaller canine without letting him notice. He tenses at the physical contact. The canine notices the tense and lets his arm drop. Felinar looks down and sighs, "I know you are..." Blue looks out at the moon again. "You remember when we first met. After the evening meal?" Felinar nods. "I remember. You asked your father who I was." "I mean after that, when we really were alone. Both of us awkward, not knowing what to say. Just thrown there by our fathers." Felinar looks back up at the moon. "They were diplomats. Trying to establish "intercultural relations." Felinar looks at the canine sideways. "Why did you only ask about me?" "You were different then everyone else, and you looked my age." "Different...? How?" "Well, that mane of yours is different, and as I said you were very young. And, ..." hesitating. "I dont' know you were just different." Felinar smirks. "Fair enough." "I'm glad that we got over that nerviousness. And I'm glad you told me about your land." Felinar turns abruptly and walks back to the bed. He picks up his vest and slips into it. "I couldn't think of anything else to say." Blue closes the windows and pads over to the un-occupied bed and sits down. "I know." Felinar sits down next to Blue and looks at him. "What about you? How did you get all of..." he gestures around the room, "...This?" Blue snorts. "I'm not sure, but in the wishes of the family, I get this inn. I'm more at home living in the woods." Felinar nods..."You've changed too. You look...more tired." "I've had a rough week." "Care to tell me about it?" The dog proceeds to tell the lion about all the events the past week, not leaving anything out. Felinar sits quietly, not interrupting. "I guess I misjudged that...Wolf friend of yours." he says when the canine is finished. "Well, he is a very good friend. He has helped me through these times." "I see...." "And now I'm helping him. As you will see later at dinner." "And...you're all right...?" "Oh yea, I'm fine now." "...Good. I wouldn't want to work with an employer who couldn't handle himself in a tight situation." Blue glares over at the lion. "I can handle myself very well in a tight situation, thank you." Felinar looks back, his face betraying no emotion. "I'm sure." "So what all have you done in that interveining time." "You want to know the specifics?" "Yes. I want to make sure any employee of mine can handle himself in a tight situation." The dog grins as he repeats Felinar's words. "Fair enough. I've been a mercenary ever since. After Tarrai, I joined Taug's Centurians as a field medic... I was just a child you see, so they wouldn't allow me into the real action." "That's a tough band of merceniaries." "Yes...they taught me how to fight. One evening though, they were attacked. Taug ordered us to scatter...I never saw any of them again." "That's unfortunate, but then I've heard that Taug took money from both sides sometimes" Felinar shrugs. "I wouldn't know. After the attack, I was captured by Equine slavers who sold me to a desert camp full of raiders who preyed on caravans. I was there for two years." "I've heard rumors of those raiders." Felinar smiles slightly..."I wouldn't know about those rumors either. I was on the other side of the world at the time. This was the Arapin desert." "Well my dad did make one comment when we flew by that desert that one should never travel through it." Felinar looks down..."Bet you never thought that I was down there. Even more reason to avoid it..." "No, not in a million years." The feline shrugs casually. "I'm surprised you remembered me, actually. I was worried that you might not." "What did you do for the raiders? and how did you get away? And you would be surprised, I've thought about you many times in these past years." The lion looks genuinely surprised for a moment before his usual sardonic look is again on his face. "Well...anyway...I did everything for them. There were about five of us, who did all the work in the camp. All they did was rape women and steal supplies..." The dog hisses as he says rape women. "I killed five of them and stole a sand skimmer, anyway. Took it to the nearest port and signed on as a deckhand...that's how I came back to this continent..." "Ahhh. Deckhand, that's a rough life." "It was a vacation compared to the life I lived with the slavers." "That would be true. I've heard that the raiders treated the workers hard." Felinar flexes an arm, "I weigh five hundred pounds now, and it's all muscle thanks to them." "Ahh." Blue reaches over to feels the flexing arm. Felinar chuckles. "All muscle and scar tissue. Thank goddess for fur." He lowers his arm. "Yea, feels very muscular." Felinar looks down, a memory surfacing. "When I reached dryland...I signed on with the local military. When I demonstrated my training and combat skills...I was transferred to their special operations division." Blue slowly removes his paw, listening again. "They trained me in EVERYTHING..." "Everything?" "Spying...demolitions...first aid...hand to hand...long and short ranged armed combat... Stealth, most of all." "Hmm, so what did you do in the special forces?" "I...worked with a vixen...she was my partner. Her name was...Kalla. We both began to hate the service. We were virtual slaves. Then, on an operation, the commander made a tactical error, and almost the entire team was killed..." The canine looks closer. "Did you care for her?" The lion looks down at the floor, his mane obscures his face, but he is visibly shaking as he attempts to control his emotions... "She was...she was my lover..." Blue reaches over to pull Felinar close, comforting. "Did she die in that error?" Felinar suddenly looks up at him, his eyes flashing dangerously. The dog stops moving in, but still asks again. "Did she die in that error?" Felinar looks down again..."No, she didn't... But we were alone...we didn't know where we were...ended up at a mercenary camp." "I...I didn't know you liked females also. Are you and she still.." The feline looks up and stares at the wall, swallowing a lump in his throat. "She's dead." "Oh, I'm so sorry, Felinar. How...did it happen. Oh, you must hate me for making you remember all of this." Felinar looks down at his hands. "We were the best mercs in that community. You've probably heard of us...we went under the aliases `Fire and Ice.' People came to us when something needed to be done that no one else could do." "Yes I have heard of you." Blue moves as close as he dares. Felinar shifts uncomfortably and stands up, walking to the window again. The canine follows and stands next to him. "What happened?" "Three months ago...we were hired to destroy a building that was housing supplies for a military raid...we were told it was unprotected..." Felinar looks down. "...It wasn't." "What building? Who hired you?" The lion looks off into the distance as if reliving the events... "Kalla was covering me with her rifle just to be safe while I set the sakou bombs..." He begins to tremble again. "We were attacked by a squadron of weasels...sent by the agency who had hired us...they apparently owned an industrial complex we had destroyed a month earlier..." Blue sighs and looks out mumbling one word, "Awardings" as he listens. Felinar grips the windowsill tightly, not hearing anything the canine says. "She kept them off my back until the bombs exploded...when we were retreating, they....they shot her in the back..." The dog hisses. "Oh, man I'm sorry. I truely am." He puts his arm around the feline, comforting again. Felinar doesn't seem to notice this time. "What did you do after that?" Felinar looks up again, and wipes a tear from his face. "I left the mercenary community and wandered the forest... Wandered until I was attacked by the weasels... And then I came here..." Blue keeps the arm around Felinar as he says, "I'm sorry that you have lost two loves to this world. You deserve more, you always have." The lion suddenly notices the arm around him and whirls, pushing you away. "Don't do that." The dog backs up a step. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to comfort you." Felinar growls, "Keep your distance, if you value your life. Everyone I ever cared about...died." Blue narrows his eyes. "I value my life, and NO ONE is going to take me out for caring about my friends. You have to relax. I told you about this last week, and none of it killed me. In fact I think that that set up you went to, was put on by the Awardings." Felinar settles down on his bed and rests his face in his hands for a moment. He looks up again. "I won't go after anyone without proof." "I think I could get the proof." Blue picks up the phone and dials a number. "Hello, yes this is Blue." "Wait..." "Get me Falchion" Felinar stands up and looks at the canine. "I don't want you involved." Blue shushes the lion. "Yea, bro, listen I need you to get some information on the conflict regaurding an attack on a building where military supplies were being held. He looks at the lion. "Thanks." he says into the phone, then hangs it up. "Blue..." "Okay, I'll have the information by dinner." Blue moves close again, sitting on the bed. Felinar reaches up a hand towards the canine's, but lowers it just as he is about to make contact. He stands up and walks to the opposite end of the room, facing away from Blue. "I'd...like to be alone now." "What's wrong, Felinar. We were once friends. I would like to be friends again." "Please..." "You've been alone these last three months. I'll leave if that's what you REALLY want." Felinar hesitates for a moment, then says quietly, "...Yes. Please leave." Blue turns to you one last time, "I'll come by for dinner." Looks at the lion with friendly eyes, then turns and heads towards the door. "Blue..." The lion turns toward the canine. The dog turns back.. "yes?" "I..." Felinar hesitates, and looks down slightly. "...I'll try to look presentable for dinner." "You look fine now, my friiend." Blue smiles warmly as he turns to head out again, closing the door softly. Felinar turns and lays on the bed as memories flood in. ******* As I stood on the high cliff, looking out over the ocean at the sunset, I was mesmerized as always by the reflected sunlight off the water. The red/gold light danced all over the surface, most intense near the center of the reflection and becoming more random, although no less bright the farther away they became from their source. The bright, fiery reflections suddenly triggered an unwelcome memory. * * * Pushed to my knees harshly, tears streaking down my face, my father held my head up by my mane and forced me to watch as my lover burned to death. Forced me to watch, as the red/gold flames, equally as intense farther from their source as at the center, licked their way up his beautiful pearl-white fur, blackening it as he cried out in anguished terror. * * * Opening my eyes with a shuddering gasp, I found myself on my hands and knees, looking down into the relatively calm water twenty feet below me amongst the jagged rocks. A single tear fell from my eye as I blinked sadly at the rapidly fading memory of the Tiger who had died nearly a decade ago, and made ripples as it struck the ocean below. As the ripples dissipated, I saw myself in the water, the dark auburn mane striped with white that flowed around my neck and shoulders down to my midback, the three silver earrings in my left ear, the golden eyes that could glitter dangerously or with warmth and compassion, all of which framed the face and muzzle of a young adult Lion. * * * Without any change seeming to take place, I could see her behind me in that reflection, laughing as she tied little pink ribbons in my mane. I laughed too, the pain of Sekai's death seven years ago gone while I was with this beautiful creature. Her voice was soft and purring as she said the words, "I love you so much, Felinar...." As my partner in the mercenary trade, the lovely vixen was better than anyone I could hope for. As a person though, she was loving, sweet, and kind, and I loved her. * * * The scene changed. I stood outside of a blasted and charred building, destroyed by several of my homemade sakou bombs. At my feet lay Kalla, her protective vest riddled with bullet-holes, her eyes still open, staring off into nothing. This time, there were no tears. I knelt next to her and closed her dead eyes gently as I kissed her one last time on the side of her muzzle.... * * * I opened my eyes, and again found myself standing at the edge of the cliff. I felt a breeze starting up, and I stood straight, stretching my arms high above me, closing my eyes as I felt the wind whipping through my mane and fur. Was it all worth it? All the dead lovers, the final goodbyes? Was there a purpose? * * * I stood in a small office, with a canine and a lupine. The canine....an old friend. He had been there during Sekai's murder. But I had never known what he had thought of me, when he found out about my affair with someone of the same gender. Until now, nine years later. He said it was all right. He didn't care, and actually seemed to be curious about it. I didn't know about the Wolf. And for the time being, I didn't care. Someone from my past accepted who I was, and didn't try to destroy me, and those I cared about. It may not make up for the losses...but it was a start. ************ Felinar woke with a start. He sat up and looked at the clock, then hopped out of the bed. The lion looked in the mirror one more time, then headed out the door. |